eventually...

After agonizing over the two job offers, I begged, pleaded, and grovelled, and bought an extra 48 hours to make a decision. During that time, I managed to call the folks in the Netherlands, nail down some more details, and then talk with one of the guys that I'd actually be working with. Being around my age, he was able to give me a pretty good picture of what it's like to live and work in Holland and some inside information on the group at work. Not being able to visit and scope things out before actually making the decision, I really latched on to his descriptions and used them to make my final choice.

Philadelphia is the safe and comfortable choice. I know the city, was good friends with the people that I'd be working with, and have somewhat of a community there already. The job, although a few rungs up the corporate ladder, wouldn't be completely new to me. It is, however, the more logical career move for me.

That said, I decided to turn down the offer in Philly and go with the option that makes me tremble in anticipation. Just as when I was deciding between two options before choosing Boston, I picked it because it was the one that freaked me out more because there were so many more unknowns.

The strange part of this whole process is that regardless of which job I took, I wouldn't start until next spring. I have some loose ends to tie up here at the job in Boston before I can move on, and despite the fact that it's not written in my contract, I really can't take another job until my 18 months is up here. So, while I'm excited about the prospect of moving to the Netherlands, I can't actually be officially offered the job until next year, nor can I plan the details around my move.

It's like Purgatory - only I know I'm getting out eventually.

decisions

Sunset over the rocky ledge of Pemaquid Point lighthouse in Bristol, Maine


Climbing across large rocks and poking in tidal pools along the beach in Maine, collecting flat stones and large pieces of driftwood which have been worn smooth from years of being swept by crashing waves, Jo and I spent a relaxing weekend getting away from the insanity of our lives. Hers, being a university administrator during the start of the fall semester, and mine, trying to hold down a full-time job, a concurrent large project in Philadelphia, and trying to decide between two job offers.

Fortune was in our favor as we stumbled upon a cozy little bed & breakfast in Walpole which had a room available because of a last-minute cancellation. Not having planned the trip far enough in advance, we spottiness hopped in my trusty RAV-4 and drove north with no destination in mind, aside from a general agreement that we wanted to visit Maine. With the cooperation of the sun and the rain clouds, we managed to explore pockets of the state which weren't overflowing with long weekend tourists and managed to consume satisfying amounts of fresh lobsters and littleneck clams. Drenched in a bowl of hot butter and served with chowder and corn, each meal was messy, yet a veritable seafood feast.

As I type this entry, I've just finished reducing some wild blueberries on the stove with granulated sugar and Grand Marinier, which makes a decadent topping to drizzle on top of a bowl of cold vanilla ice cream. The berries were purchased at a roadside stand on the drive back and weren't sweet enough to have been finished off in handfuls in the car, so I saved them to fashion into tonight's dessert. Armed with spoonfuls of delectable sweetness, I'm ready to contemplate my future.

it was a very good year

After a lazy, rainy day, I drove over to S & F's place to dine on a delicious risotto, paired with a 1979 Bordeaux. There was a moment of silence, followed by laughter when I realized that I was sipping a wine that was bottled the year I was born. A warm summer evening, good food, great wine, fantastic company...

hiding under a blanket

Sometimes it's overwhelming just realizing how much there is to do in so little time.

Juggling two full time jobs and managing resources for both is taking its toll. While it's been an exciting challenge, I'm beginning to realize how unrealistic it is to hold down both and maintain my sanity. Reality can be tough to swallow. As much as I think I can handle the pressure, I'm coming to the distinct realization that I'm only one man and can only do so much given 24 hours in a single day. Between deadlines, travel, and accounting for how others fit into my competing demands, it really feels like I have each limb tied to a different horse and they're pulling in four different directions.

Sometimes it's just easier to hide under a blanket, if even for a few minutes, just to collect my thoughts and take a deep breath before emerging from a figurative 'time-out' and saying to myself, "bring it on!"

has it been that long?

i've been such a sporadic blogger that i barely feel like mustering up the energy to write even the occasional entry. the weekend has been gorgeous so far and aside from dinner and a movie at the harbour ('rebel without a cause') at sunset on friday night, i haven't really been partaking. spent the morning washing dishes, then stepped out briefly to pick up some groceries, as well as some long green bamboo stalks for the 2.5' glass vase that sits in my bedroom. came home, made a refreshingly summertime meal of greek-style tabouleh with fresh dill, cilantro, and crumbled feta cheese, then gotcracking on some of the administrative parts of the side project that i'm working on.

happy canada day!
(i sang a silent 'o canada' in my apartment today in commemoration of the event.)