blue

Now that we've gotten the recap out of the way...

I walked into my office this morning, only to be greeted by a stack of creative briefs on my desk, a tonne of new e-mails in my inbox begging for something or another, and an abnormally large handful of stupid messages on my machine. What a way to start the morning! I guess it serves me right for calling in "sick" yesterday.

I was feeling kind of doldrummy yesterday. The weather probably had a little to do with it - it's been raininy and cold ever since I got back from Philly and New York, so I pretty much went straight from the dead of summer to a cold, wet fall without much of a transition. Aside from that, however, I've just been feeling very disconnected from everything around me here.

My job is starting to bore me silly, and this scares me. Of all the jobs that I've had, this has been my most favoritest to date, but the mundane aspect of the day-to-day grind is starting to wear on me a little and makes me feel like I no longer want to be there. The politics annoy me. I get irritated a lot more easily by stupidity, and it's starting to show. The only thing that keeps me there are the handful of people that I work with whom I love, and the hops of relocating with the company very, very soon (more on that another time).

I'm still living with my parents and beginning to resent it more and more on a daily basis. Don't get me wrong, I love them, but it's tough to still be living at home at 24, especially if you've lived on your own for a few years and gotten a taste of independence. When I moved back, after graduating (so I could pay off my loans and not be forever in debt), I promised myself that this would be a temporary arrangement. I gave myself until my 25th birthday to find a place of my own, and now that my birthday is around the corner, I'm feeling the itch to fly the coop, but not nearly motivated enough (because of aforementioned impending move) to go apartment hunting again.

Earlier this evening, my mother and sister barged into my room with a hanger draped with a variety of scarves, shawls, and pashminas. They proceeded to sit on my bed and waltz around my floor-length mirror tossing things over their shoulders and striking poses. "It's our Friday Night Fashion Show," they informed me matter-of-factly. I rolled my eyes and politely asked them to entertain themselves elsewhere, to which I was told, "you're no fun!" Re-confirming my belief that I do not belong in this house.

My sister has also recently become betrothed to her boyfriend of several years (don't ask me how many, I haven't kept track). Their engagement wasn't a surprise to anyone, not even my sister. She was already planning the wedding moths ago. Even though she's older than me, and I expected that she would get married before me, it's strangely disconcerting knowing that she's moving on and taking this very adulty step before me. Not that she's immature or anything, but this is my sister who just graduated, is currently unemployed, is constantly borrowing thousands of dollars from me to cover her loans, and has always been kind of sheltered. And now she's getting married, moving to California after the wedding, and will probably start popping babies soon after. I'm not entirely sure why this makes me feel weird and depressed, but somehow, it does.

Oh, and my litle red station wagon is starting to die a rather painfully slow death, which saddens me and also makes me a little trepiditious to wake her up and drive her out of the garage every morning. I'm tempted to get a new set of wheels, but not really sure I want to be making such a big purchase with the possibility that I might be moving Stateside in a few months looming over the horizon. My fingers are crossed that Red Thunder will hang on through the winter, just enough time until I move to the US and get a new car there.

Oh gawd, what if this relocation things doesn't materialize?

a dose of inspiration?
I asked boss-man if I could accompany one of my colleagues to Seattle on Monday for what we like to call Inspiration Day (basically a cross-border shopping day disguised as 'compasion shopping' and 'field research'). He reminded me that my former intern was coming back to work with me on Monday to finish off his contract, so I should probably stay. Somehow, the topic of going to Calgary for some field research came up (I think I brought it up jokingly), and he seemed to buy it. Said he had actually been considering sending me and another of my collegues for a few days. I was surprised. We'll see if it actually happens, but it may be a possibility. It's Calgary, but if nothing else, it'll be nice to get away, visit some friends and see my Mo, who's there for six weeks on a project right now.

the remedy
Blasting on the CD player: Scissor Sisters. Pure campy, psychedelic fun - a perfect cure for the mood I'm in. Although I'm kicking myself for not snapping up tickets to their concert when I heard that they were going to be in town. Now the show's sold out and I'll be somewhere else the night of the concert, wishing I was the one getting jacked up on cheap champagne...

Gonna take your mama out all night / Yeah we’ll show her what it’s all about / We’ll get her jacked up on some cheap champagne / We’ll let the good times all roll out / And if the music ain’t good, we’ll it’s just too bad / We’re gonna sing along no matter what