timeline

Inspired by Andy Brown's speech to Ephram in this week's episode, I decided to close my eyes and visualize where I would be in five years and figure out what I had to do to get me there. Well, as I closed my eyelids, the first thought that came to mind was, "In five years, I'll be thirty...well, twenty-nine, going on thirty. Holy crap! I'm too old for this visualization stuff. I need to get a life. That's what I need five years from now...a life." With that, my eyes flew open as I burst out laughing. Moment gone.

With that, I bring you stuff stolen from other people's blogs and modified for my own purposes...

10 years ago today, I would have been...
1. A tenth grader with ambitions of becoming the next Frank Lloyd Wright
2. Looking forward to my two week stint shadowing a much cooler third-year engineering student as part of a high-school/university co-op exchange program.
1. Shy and insecure.

5 years ago today, I would have been...
1. In my third year of University, officially having declared my intention to major in English Literature, after ditching the whole science thing and thereby dashing my parents' hopes of me entering the medical, dental, or engineering professions.
2. Living with my sister in a great little apartment on campus.
3. Getting ready to move to Victotria for my first job...and learning to be comfortable with being alone in a new place.

3 years ago today, I would have been...
1. Working at BC Hydro, trying to decipher my cube-mate's Portuguese conversations with her nanny while writing too many long e-mails to a girl that I evetually dated months later.
2. Figuring out that I probably wanted to be a graphic designer when I graduated.
3. Really giving serious consideration to the question of what I was going to do with the rest of my life.

1 year ago today, I was...
1. Just returning from a two-month long business trip in Toronto.
2. Itching to get back on the road.
3. And out of the house.

So far this year, I have...
1. Become more jaded and cynical, much to my dismay.
2. Been offered opportunities in Greece, Saudi Arabia, Minneapolis, and Texas, only to be forced to turn them down. (Only the last one was my decision.)
3. Travelled to New York. Alone.

Yesterday, I...
1. Started to wrap my head around my sister's upcoming wedding.
2. Went to the movies. Alone.
3. Started writing a handwritten letter to a friend.

Today, I...
1. Overslept.
2. Nodded and smiled a lot while the boss man yammered on with his hands flailing around madly in front of him as he gesticulated. I tuned him out after the first sentence. I don't think he caught on.
3. Finished several ads and crossed off many an item on my to-do list.

Tomorrow, I...
1. Will go to work early and give my "wife" a big welcome back hug.
2. Will give an orientation to my new assistant and b/s my way through his training.
3. Will carpe the diem a little more, and find out what the future holds for me.


Day Dreamer :: Donovan Frankenreiter

case of the existential detectives

Had a lunch meeting with my sister, her faince and my friend C, the wedding planner. I ordered the Indian lamb curry, which tasted like Irish stew...with beef. Should have known better than to order a curry from a wannabe British pub chain located in Vancouver and expect it to be authentic.

After lunch, I decided to go watch I *heart* Huckabees. It was a little zany, but I enjoyed it. Not exactly Oscar-worthy performances, but thought-provoking in a light-hearted presentation. I probably would have enjoyed it more if the theatre hadn't been so suffocatingly hot. In the middle of the movie, I started stipping of any removable layers that could be taken off without crossing the boundaries of common decency. Although in hindsight, the theatre was pitch dark, so nobody would have batted an eyelash at my exposure - indecent or otherwise.

Check out the corporate website, if you have time. It's a piece of work in and of itself. Reminds me of Sam Walton's place, only more upscale. Speaking of which, I found out yesterday at the exhibit that Walton has more people in uniform than the entire US Army. Scary!


Blackbird :: Sarah McLachlan

change is good

....or is it?

Went downtown today to check out the Massive Change exhibit, which is making its world permiere at the VAG. Visually delicious, the exhibit traces the multiple interconnections between design and human existence, and the ways the two interact and affect each other. More importantly, it showcases the bounds of human inventiveness and discusses the dystopian possibilities that could lie ahead.

That Bruce Mau, he's amazing. After walking through the gallery, I decided that I wanted to be his disciple. Thing is, I can't really afdford to shell out $12,000 for tuition without going into debt. I just paid off my student loan debt. I'm not exactly looking to go through that again. Maybe I'll just buy the book.

Finished off the day with some window shopping along Robson Street and a dinner of Chicken Shawrama on Rice, Tabouleh, and Pita wedges with Hummus. A scrumptious end to a crisp fall day. I had a craving for something fruity and sweet, so I made myself some fresh raspberry sorbet when I got home...from scratch. Believe it!


Shooting Star (In Spite of it All) :: Jeremy Fisher

bursting at the seams

I almost lost my thumb today.

Okay, perhaps that's a little melodramatic. I was cropping down a proof at work today, and without paying attention, i sliced the top of my thumb open. It was one of those weird moments where you realize what's happenening while it's happening, but are powerless to stop it. Kind of like a car wreck. I could have kicked myself for being so stupid!

Anyway, bleed, bleed, bleed. Gush, gush, gush. It was a messy sight. I had planned on just bandaging it and sucking it up, but when I realized how bad it might be, I made a mad dash to the first aid guys in the office. Luckily, I was greeted by Rob, one of my favorite firast aid guys. He cleaned and wrapped my finger in a cool pressure bandage (which was complimented by the nurse who did my initial examination a few hours later), then called and got someone to drive me to emergency to get it stitched up.

I don't think he actually told them why I needed to get to emergency - just that I needed to go, so when Britta got the call, a bit of a panic ensued. They tried to find Terry, because he drives like a madman, they rationalized, and could get me there faster. But it would take forever to track him down, so it would probably be faster for her to send Katie.

Katie ended up being my personal ambulance and rushed me to a walk-in clinic nearby. We reasoned that I'd probably get stitched up faster and have a shorter wait than if I went to emergency. Plus, Katie has a bit of a crush on the the doctor at this particular clinic, so this plan wasn't without its ulterior motives.

We made fun of people in magazines while we waited, and as we shuffled through the stack of magazines, we found a pad of viagra stationary. I took one quick look at it and knew that I had to steal a sheet or two for posterity. My favorites are point four and point five.


how to make viagra work for you

4. You need sexual stimulation in order for Viagra to work.

[Followed by a picture of a man puckering up.]

5. Viagra doesn't work for everyone the first time they take it, so try again another day.

[Accompanied by an image of calendar pages flying off as they are being torn. "If at first you don't succeed, try, try, try again?")

Anyway, when I finally went it, Dr. H decided to shoot me with a bunch of needles. Tetanus, lidocaine, sutures... The Tetanus booster was cake, but lucky for me, I cut myself right where the nerve endings are, so I was howling in pain by the time the last two needles went in. Dr. H gave me this explanation and then then said, it's gonna hurt real bad, but it doesn't make you any less tough..."

As the needles went in, I holwed back, "I don't care how tough or simpy I come across...that hurts like HELLl!!!" Followed by, "Ohgod! ohgod! ohgod!" in rapid succession.

Because one of the stitches was near the nail, he didn't use any lidocaine for that one...just went straight at it. I was warned ahead of time, but I still cursed under my breath in every language I could conjure up!

As brutal as he sounds, Dr. H was actually pretty great throughout the whole thing - joking with me as we went on. I never understood Katie's crush on him before, but now that I've met him. I totally get it. He is, like, the nicest man ever. As Dr. H walked me back out to the waiting room, I spotted Katie peeking up from behind the pages of her magazine, all flustered and excited to catch a glimpse of him.

"Wasn't he the greatest?" she gushed as we walked out of the clinic.

I have a hunch that she'll volunteer to drive me back next week when I have go back to get my stitches taken out.


Between Signal & Noise :: Elvind Aarest

neither half-empty nor half-full

Just finished mediating an argument between my sister and our parents about the wedding guest list. She wants to keep it to a manageable number so that she and the husband-in-waiting can stick to budget. The parental units want to invite everyone who ever said hello to them in passing. Asked where he expects the money to come from for all these extra guests, my dad responds in a sing-song voice, "God will provide."

Aggravated, I almost stormed out of the room with clenched fists, a furrowed brow, and thunderclouds circling my head.

Lord, forgive me for being a realist.

you'll find me under the palm branches

After going through the interviews and tabulating the results, I finally got to hire another assistant. The rankings were close and because of the union environment I work in, the final decision was based on seniority. Not necessarily the way I would have gone (my first choice would have been the candidate that listed "handsome and charming" as qualifications on his application because it made me laugh), but I think it'll be good to see how things work out. If nothing else, I'm just happy to have extra hands to carry out my bidding.

After being off-site for so long, it's a struggle getting back into the swing of things at the office. This morning, I was welcomed back with a tonne of messages on my machine and plenty of e-mails in my inbox with urgent requests. Much cursing and head-pounding quickly ensued. There may have also been a few shaken fists.

To cheer me up, Terry decorated my office with three 4' palms in my office brought back from our Home Show booth. They now sit in a row on top of a series of cabinets above my desk (my office boasts a high, vaulted ceiling). It feels like Miami everytime I step in there. It's slightly ridiculouus, but I love it just the same.


Let it Shine :: Jeremy Fisher

weekend update

[thursday]
Another day at the Home Show with Terry, putting the finishing touches on our display. I have to say, it turned out much better than I had anticipated. (Hands clapping with glee...)

After we handed everything over to the salespeople, the two of us decided to check out the rest of the exhibitors. We watched a food demo presented by Frank Pabst, the Executive Chef at Blue Water Cafe, a lighting seminar by Wes Thurn, a Vancouver-based designer, and a Designer's Workshop given by Sarah Richardson, formerly of Room Service, and now of Design Inc. fame. I was going to be a dork and ask for a photo with her (to send to Julia, her biggest fan), but when the session ended, my shyness took over, and I wimped out.

[friday]
After pulling twelve-hour days setting up for the Home Show, I decided to take a well-deserved day off. Afterall, I need a break before going back to the Stadium again on Monday to dismantle our display. I had planned on either going to the art gallery to see the Massive Change exhibit or to hear Karim Rashid speak at the show about the joys of designing for Umbra or his plan for taking over the design community, but after waking up to see that it was two o'clock in the afternoon, I scratched all plans, and stayed in bed for the rest of the day. Caught up on the taped shows that I had missed, and generally filled my brain with trash TV of all sorts. Despite the apparent sloth and ambivalence towards this lack of productivity, it felt strangely good.

[saturday]
Started the weekend with a morning coffee at Starbucks with Raj. It's been ages since we last saw each other, so it was nice to catch up on our University days, talk about our recent travels (hers more exciting than mine, of course - London vs. Philadelphia), and compare aggravating existenses living at home with the parental units. (Again, I had to concede defeat this round...she's got it worse off than I do.)

We also made plans to catch Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged) when it starts next month. I saw the play in '99 with Serey, who took me for my birthday. Pissed my pants laughing - and that's before I developed a deeper appreciation for the Bard a few years later. Now, Lit. Major in hand and a year of Shakespeare under my belt, I'm looking forward to seeing it again and catching more of the hidden puns and ironies. Raj, havinng been my Shakespeare Sidekick back in University, is just as excited.

Afterwards, I went music shopping and picked up both Jeremy Fisher and Josh Ritter albums. Haven't really gotten into Ritter's Hello Starling yet, but after several spins, I think Fisher's Let it Shine has found a permanent place on my favourites shelf.

I had planned on ending my break from running, but because of the cold, rainy weather, decided to stay under cover and dug into Kushneer's Angels in America instead. The play, not the DVD. I bought the manuscripts a few years ago, upon recommendation from a former English Professor, but never got around to reading them. I promised myself that I'd read both parts before seeing a performance, and since the HBO production has now been made available on DVD, I decided that this was as good a time as any to start reading.

[sunday]
After devouring the manuscript, I was all eager to pick up the DVD from the video store. Unfortunately, all the copies were rented out, so I decided to see if I could find it at Future Shop. Turns out they had it, but at close to $50, I figure I'll either wait for the rental to become available, or buy it from Amazon for a 30% discount instead.

Also went to the public library and picked up one of Lynn Johnson's For Better or For Worse books. The simple reality that is portrayed in the strips is enough to make me laugh and cry with each turn of the page. Picking a comic collection is kinda like cheating, but I like being able to read them all in one sitting, without the cumbersome nature of waiting for the serials.

Took engagement photos for my sister and her fiance, which will eventually be used on the invitations to their engagement soiree. I wanted the photos to be playful and fun, so I made them stick Candy Hearts inscribed with various phrases such as "Marry Me" and "Hot Lips" between their lips.

Among the mix, I found one that read "Fax Me."

That is like, sooo, 1980's. And besides, who the hell faxes a love note or a pick-up line?


Lemon Meringue Pie :: Jeremy Fisher

....jack & jill came down the hill

I was going through the collection of mp3's that I collected back in my University days and came across The Truth About Romeo by Pancho's Lament, the theme song for Jack & Jill. I still remember packing up my books and running over to Mawdsley House in my PJs to watch the show with Sharla and Shauna every week. We'd all have out textbooks and notes spread out on our laps and around us, but ignore them for the whole hour as we sat glued to the screen. It was like a weekly soap opera about fresh-out-of college twenty-somethings trying to make it in the real world in an age of Ally McBeals. We were so addicted.

Come to think of it, I'm not really sure how the show ended or why it was cancelled. There was a pretty good cast involved, including Amanda Peet, Ivan Sergei, Justin Kirk, Sarah Paulson, Jaime Pressly, and the infamous Simon Rex, so there was no shortage of decent actors (with the exception of the latter two). If this show every makes it to DVD, someone please tell me.


The Truth About Romeo :: Pancho's Lament

a slurpee a day

Went to set up our booth at the Home Show today. Nice change from being at the office. I was reduced to a giddy little schoolboy as I drove my car into the Stadium through the airlock gates. I drove my car into the middle of the freaking Stadium!

Started the day off with Slurpees. Terry's idea. A good one at that!

Spent much longer setting up the booth than I though it would take. Will probably return tomorrow to fine tune. It's been a great experience, but I'll be glad when it's over.

Had a grilled ahi tuna burger from Subeez for lunch. Tres tres cool, and tres, tres chic... The waitress asked if we wanted beer with our meals. "It's the middle of the workday!" I wanted to tell her as I shook her by the shoulders. Do Canadians actually drink between the hours of 9 and 5? It's unheard of! Unless you're a sommelier, a wine critic, or a perpetual drunk. I was tempted though.

Had dinner later in the evening with Cathy at Chambar. A beautifully decorated interior, a list of Belgian beer as long as my arm, a delicous bouillabaisse bursting with rich flavour, and great conversation. What more could you ask for?

Everything I Do Gonna Be Funky :: Lou Donalson

now there was a real gent

Superman's Song :: Crash Test Dummies

Tarzan wasn't a ladies' man
He'd just come along and scoop 'em up under his arm
Like that, quick as a cat in the jungle
But Clark Kent, now there was a real gent
He would not be caught sittin' around in no
Junglescape, dumb as an ape doing nothing

[Chorus:]
Superman never made any money
For saving the world from Solomon Grundy
And sometimes I despair the world will never see
Another man like him

Hey Bob, Supe had a straight job
Even though he could have smashed through any bank
In the United States, he had the strength, but he would not
Folks said his family were all dead
Their planet crumbled but Superman, he forced himself
To carry on, forget Krypton, and keep going

Tarzan was king of the jungle and Lord over all the apes
But he could hardly string together four words: "I Tarzan, You Jane."

Sometimes when Supe was stopping crimes
I'll bet that he was tempted to just quit and turn his back
On man, join Tarzan in the forest
But he stayed in the city, and kept on changing clothes
In dirty old phonebooths till his work was through
And nothing to do but go on home

gobble, gobble...baaaaa

Today being Thanksgiving Day, I had to forgo sleeping in to start on The Meal. My mom decided to eschew all tradition this year and decided that we would have a Thanksgiving Lunch instead of a Thanksgiving Dinner and asked me to make lamb instead of the traditional turkey. Since I'm all for breaking the rules and shattering conventions, I was all for it.

Since I marinated the lamb last night, I was able to whip everything up in just a couple of hours, and without a lot of stress. The meal turned out pretty fabulously, despite the fact that it was haphazardly thrown together at the last minute. Read: I didn't set foot in a grocery store at all during the course of planning or preparing this meal. Luckily, my parents are champion supermarket shoppers, so there was a lot in their fridge to work with.


the menu:

• Roasted leg of lamb with a rosemary, garlic and olive oil marinade
  (drizzled with a raspberry and red wine reduction)
• Eggplant fans roasted with a garlic and balsmic vinegar paste
• Candied yams and sweet potatoes roasted with walnuts
• Parmesean and peppercorn brussell sprouts on a bed of ribbon carrots
• Steamed rice infused with dillweed

The best part had to be the ice cream cake brought over by my sister's finace. Around the edge of the cake, read the words "Happy Thanksgiving." And in the centre was an image of a roasted turkey drawn with icing. The cake stayed in the freezer and was never brought out for dessert. But in case anyone asks, I guess we did have a Thanksgiving Turkey.

The only tradition that we didn't do away with was going around the table and having each person say what they were thankful for before grace was said. This is one thing I dread every year, but my dad is so unbelievably persistent, so each year I end up blurting out one trite response after another. The sake of this year's thankfulness? "Food." Yep. You got it! The lamest possible answer. But it was accepted with a few chuckles, and we moved along to the next person.

Now while I admitedly bitch and moan a significant amount in this forum (what's a blog for, after all?), I actually do have much to be thankful for. But for fear of turning this into a typical Thanksgiving Day in Canada post, I will refrain from listing my "things to be thankful for" countdown here. Instead, maybe I should tackle all those unanswered e-mails in my inbox and start there.

Enjoy your turkey sandwiches tomorrow, folks!


Tres Tres Chic :: Mocean Worker

marinating

I just finished preparing the lamb for tomorrow's Thanksgiving meal. I was tearing rosemary leaves from stalks and mashed them in olive oil like a madman. My fingers smell like rosemary. Mmmm...


My Aphrodisiac Is You :: Katie Melua

so, possibilities...

I called my friend Gwen over at head office today to see if she could dig up some old files for me from the archive. She answers the phone in her usual breathy low, sexy voice and I get all flustered and excited just to hear her speak. We end up talking for half-an-hour about everything under the sun. Catching up on the latest happenings in Philly, new developments (and new struggles) at her house (a.k.a the neverending renovation project), her Visa/GreenCard issues, and the fact that she may have to be deported back to Canada until her paperwork is sorted out properly). Everytime I speak with her, it reminds me how much I miss having her around.

I'm gonna have to convince those folks at US Immigration not to give her her GreenCard so that she has to move back to Canada and hang out with me on a regular basis.

When we finally got to business, she handed the phone over to Scott while she went off in search of the files for me. Once he got on the line, I was greeted with a hearty "Whazzup, my bruthah?" Now, I should mention that Scott is a white guy, but can actually carry this off without looking or sounding silly. You know what I'm talking about - those white guys trying to sound like they're black. Thing is, Scott can pull it off. And that, let me tell you, ladies and gentlemen, is not an easy thing to do. I think part of it has to do with the fact that he's not trying to sound 'black' or 'gangsta.' It's just Scott being himself, which is cool.

Anyway, he starts asking what's going on with me, career-wise and such, and I answer, "same-old, you know..." Truth is, I've been kind of in a down swing lately, wondering what I'm doing in this job and where I'm going with it. It's not so much the job, but more the politics and the fact that I'm no longer feeling very creatively challenged and that there seems to be very little room for learning and development within the current confines of the organization.

We've talked about the possibility of me moving to the US before and my desire to be a part of the expansion efforts. So he asks me if I'm open to relocating early. "I'm open to anything," I say. "I just need to get the hell outta here...soon!"

Turns out, he's been thinking about having me go over to head office and help out preparing for the next phase of expansion, and then travel from project to project until the Boston project (where I'd potentially like to end up) is ready for me. The only hurdle is that my current managers probably won't give the go-ahead for any of this, so I will need to be hired by the US organization before this can happen. He's going to try to talk to the big cheese in Boston to see if they can hire me early and thereby smuggle me into the US branch of the company.

Fingers crossed. Tightly.

After a week of sleepless, and very restless nights thinking about what to do with my life, hearing about the potential new possibilities sure cheered me up good.


Night of the Iguana :: The Cinematic Orchestra

help wanted

Seen in today's Georgia Straight Classifieds...




Looking for a GOD.
This is a full-time position that may require working some Sundays.
Hopefully it will lead to an on call P/T position.

WHAT YOU HAVE TO OFFER
You are an independent GOD of no particular religion, you have worldly exp. and a sense of humour. You have patience & understanding, you are non-judgemental & full of forgiveness. (No angry or vengeful GODS need apply).

WHAT I HAVE TO OFFER
A challenge. I am lazy, unmotivated (it took me years just to place this ad). I am also high maintenance, insecure, & feel lost. I've also been told I am self-centered. However, I am willing to try & change with your help & guidance. If this sounds of interest to you, please send me your resume & cover letter w/ salary expectations. I would prefer all GODS to use the box # below. If however, you feel the need to use "divine intervention" please make it clear. Box # 613-1755 Robson Street, Van. V6G 3B7

Note: If any person out there has a similar GOD to the one I'm seeking & doesn't mind sharing, please use the box # above as well. Thank you.

introducing...

Here we go...I'm totally turning into one of those people that I've despised with a vehemence. You know, those people that post pictures of their car all over the wwweb and use it as their profile photoon friendster and stuff like that. If it isn't pictures of cars, it's fluffy kittens or pictures of celebrities lifted from the Internet. Gag! And now, I'm embarassed to say that I've joined their ranks. *sigh*

Meanwhile, I interviewed the first candidate of three applying to be my assistant today. It was fun to be on the other side of the table for a change, and I totally milked it for all it was worth. Today's candidate has worked with me before, so he's used to my ribbing. And since I've seen his portfolio already a few times before, I mostly focused on coming up with unique interview questions. I'm so evil.

Later on in the day, I got called up to meet with the national marketing bigwigs. That group is so messed up - way too many chiefs and too few Indians, or so one of my colleagues out east says. At least I was deigned somewhat important enough to do the whole meet-and-greet deal.


So Beautiful :: Dashboard Confessional

mixed bag

This morning, as I was driving back from church, i noticed two ladies in their jogging suits waving placards around as they walked along the sidewalk. As they neared, I made out the words "Abortion Kills" on one, and "Abortion Hurts Women" on the other. I looked around to see if there were any other anti-abortion activists around, but saw nothing. Evidently, they were just making a statement while on their morning stroll.

Alrighty.

Went out for coffee with an friend from university in the afternoon. We caught up on news about mutual friends and former professors, and filled in the blanks about what we've been up to since we last saw each other - which was when I graduated. He's in the middle of taking courses and waiting to hear about a handful of other opportunities. Apparently, he's also come into a bit of an inheritance from his gradfather, so he's living the life of leisure and can take his time deciding what he wants to do with life. I've always wondered what it would be like to be independently wealthy and not have to worry about work or money. Must be nice...but perhaps a little too boring for a Type-A person like me. My wallet would love it though...

In another non-related topic, I realize that I, like, have a new favorite show every week, but this could potentially be my favorite show of all time. I'm so addicted to television, it's not funny.

And now The Object of My Affection is on. The television gods are certainly smiling on me tonight! So much for getting any work done tonight. The clients will have to wait...

Gotta go.

briefly

Took the wheels for a spin today and ended up at the mall. Walked away with an obnoxiously loud shirt which either makes me look like an adopted member of the Partridge Family or a mannish-looking woman stuck in the seventies.


groovy, baby!


Sunglasses at Night :: Corey Hart

one tree

I hate that I'm addicted to this show. What is it about the pained lives of beautiful, angst-ridden highschool kids that appeals to me?

It reminds me of my dorky fascination with Dawson's Creek.

I'm such a loser.

suburbian ghetto

I've been suffering intense bouts of laziness these past two days, and instead of going for a run after work, I've been crawling straight into bed after getting home. It might have something to do with being traumatized by the bicycle rider that I encountered during my run earlier in the week. Flabby butt hanging out from the inappropriate lo-rise jeans he was wearing and crack staring me straight in the eyes - disturbing to say the very least. I was so ready to stick my fingers in my eyes until they bled. Luckily, he rode off the other way as I made the turn to my usual running trail.

That's not all.

As I was running back home, I ran past a gangly teenager decked out in hip-hop street wear, his bike laying across the path, and him splayed out on the grass beside it...masturbating. The air aound him was thick with the smell of pot and he was completely stoned. I need to find a new place to run. Or to move to.

Meanwhile, someone is playing the bongos outside my window. If the beat was consistent, I'd be into it, but all this start-stop beating is driving me nuts.

"Would I like some cheese with my whine?" you ask?

Why certainly!


Twentysomething :: Michael Kaeshammer