As I sit here typing, I’m consuming my second bowl of Chef Boyardee. I know, I know… In my defence, I just got home after a twelve-hour long day today and am hungry as well, so give a man a break! I have to admit that I started to feel a little guilty about what I was stuffing myself with, when I was standing beside the zapper, so I threw some salad greens into a bowl along with some blueberries and cashews just to make my meal somewhat more ‘rounded.’ I doubt it will do much to offset the other crap that I’m eating, but it makes me feel healthier, okay?
Come to think of it, I grabbed lunch at the grease factory today as well. Man, oh man! One day, I’m going to wake up and find a fat old slob facing me in the mirror saying, ”What the hell happened to you?”
Tomorrow I start running again.
If I can get myself up early enough…
paranoia
Had a chat with my manager today – same old same old…I’ve been working too much overtime, need to cut back, etc. Then we briefly got to talking about how my job description has changed unofficially over the past several months, to the point where I’m doing the job of two people in two distinctly separate roles (his words, not mine). Neither of us wanted to get too deep into the conversation, as we’re both kind of expecting to talk about all of this and more during my performance evaluation this Thursday. I think I can safely say that this one will run pretty long. Beside the fact that I love having hours devoted strictly to talking about myself (I don’t.), I have a lot on my mind and probably just as much to get off my chest.
He mentioned that our HR Manager had been asking about where I was in terms of pursuing other opportunities - whether I was still looking within the company or if I had started to set my sights externally. She had tried to ask me the same thing about a week ago in a roundabout kind of way, but I didn’t really give her a straight answer then. Not wanting to reveal too much, I was purposefully vague, which probably bothered her a bit, since I’m usually quite open with her.
I guess since my last opportunity to go to Greece got trampled on, I’ve started to get kind of paranoid about whom to trust. As much as they tell me that they will do everything that they can to support me, I still can’t help but feel that they are looking out for their best interests first, and mine second - but only if it suits them.
So, I’m still waffling on whether or not I will disclose fully my dealings with the folks in Sweden. This afternoon, after our conversation, I considered telling him everything, but now, I’m considering everything more strategically and I’m not so sure. Then again, if they really want to screw me over, they’ll do it anyway, and there’s not really much I can do about it. The thing is, that regardless of what happens, while he's still my manager, he can make life as pleasant, or as miserable for me as he wants to.
I really hate having to think like this. It makes my head hurt!
Amusingly enough, on the CD player right now, Jacksoul is belting his little heart out singing, “I believe that we should all exist together - that’s the only we can stand through stormy weather…” Sing it, bruthah!
leprosy
Okay, that may be an overly dramatic way to describe my current condition, but it's how I feel, dammit! I'm covered in bug bites from haging out in Jeanette and Tom's backyard all Saturday evening. As I was putting cortizone cream on myself this morning, I discovered three new red bumps. I swear, these suckers are multiplying and it's driving me nuts!
Despite being unknowingly devoured by mosquitos and various other insects, Saturday was a good time. I'll post photos as soon as I get my ass in gear...although it may also depend on how preparations for my trip go.
here they are...
summertiiime...and the living is eeeaaasy...
paper lanterns
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