squisher of dreams

After not hearing a peep out of my former intern from hell, I figured that he had indeed moved to San Fransisco to mooch off his Mom, as was originally planned.  So, I was surprised to get a call from someone this morning asking me for a reference on his behalf.  Here's how the conversation went...

Her:  So, can you you confirm tat Intern did indeed work with you during the dates he specified?

Me:  Sure.

Her: What was the nature of the work that Intern did while he was working with you.

Me:  He worked in the graphics department and was assigned mostly production oriented tasks.

Her: What would you say his greatest strengths were?

Me:  Ummm...hmmmm...ahhhhh...  (long pause)  Can we come back to this question?

Her:  Okay, what would you say his greatest weakness is?

Me:  Oooh...  (another long pause because I'm biting my tongue)  Can you tell me what position he's applied for with your copmany?  It might give me a better indication as to how to best answer your questions.

Her: Sure.  He's applied to be part of our computer sales team.  Knowing that, do you think he's suitable for the role?

Me:  With that bit of information, I can probably give you better answers than I've been able to thus far.  (laughter)  What I can say for Intern is that he's extremely knowledgeable when it comes to computers - both hardware and software.  He knows his stuff and really knows his way around the machines.  I would hestitate though, to place him in direct line with clients because he does tend to have trouble carrying himself well in business settings.  He probably needs more work, and perhaps a little coaching in this area.

Her:  Funny, we picked up the same thing during his interview.  Now, was he punctual?

Me: Not exactly...

Her: Late to work?

Me: Yes.  (I hestitated to add "every single day" - but in the end decided to give him a break and leave it at that.)

Her:  Okay.  Now, at the end of his internship, you had no need for him anymore?

Me:  You could say that. 

Her:  If you had an opening, would you consider hiring him again?

Me: Hmmm...for a strictly production-oriented contract position, I might consider it (if I was really desparate!)

Her:  Great.  Thanks for your time.

Okay, this was grossly paraphrased, of course, but you get the idea.  I was the perfect picture of diplomacy and restraint throughout the entire conversation.  Truthful, yet tactful.  After I hung up, I laughed so hard, I almost started crying.  I told boss man about it at lunch and he couldn't stop laughing either.

I should probably mention that I'm not like this with all my interns.  In fact, I loved my first intern so much, he's been working part-time with me (paid with real, honest -to-goodness money this time) for the past month and will be covering for me while I'm away.  See, I'm not completely evil.  I'm a good reference for the good kids - and a civil one for the, shall we say, 'sub par' ones.