to hug or not to hug

I'd never really given much thought to whether or not I'm a "hugger" or not. You know, those people that hug at every concievable opportunity. My sister is a hugger. She hugs to say hello, hugs to say goodbye, hugs to comfort and to be comforted, hugs because she's happy, or hugs just because. I, on the other hand, am more of what you would call a sporadic hugger. I hug when I feel like it, which can be often or rarely, depending on what kind of mood I'm in that particular day.

Today, my friend Joanne, along with her freinds Micah and Michelle, came to visit me at work and joined me for lunch. As they were leaving, I gave Joanne a big old "thanks for visiting - see you again soon" hug, gave Michelle an "it was nice meeting you - have a safe trip home" hug, and then extended my hand out to Micah to give him an "it was good seeing you again - take care" handshake. I didn't think much of it while it was happening; it was a pretty automatic switch from hugging to handshaking. But after a nervous giggle, we laughed at the elementary logic behind girls getting hugs and boys getting handshakes.

I guess I've just been conditioned to think of hugs as gestures reserved to give to women and young children, and handshakes as the gender appropriate gesture between two men. But today's encounter got me thinking, why shouldn't men hug? We're all big softies that need love, right? I know, I know, there are certain instances where handshakes would be the more appropriate gesture, but I guess what I'm just questioning the existence of 'gender-appropriate" greetings. A salutation is a salutaion.

Terry and I get bugged at work all the time for speaking in our "deep, manly voices" when we're speaking with each other or with other guys, and then speaking in our regular tone of voice with women. I guess its an ingrained need to assert our masculinity or something - kinda like the handshake vs. hugging thing. Perhaps it is partly due to how the male brain is wired and partly to how we're conditioned as children. I have to admit, I wasn't consciously aware of it until it was pointed out to us. Now we just joke about it and then resort to grunting everytime it happens.

So, get out there and hug someone! In fact, hug the next person you come across - man or woman. Unless, of course, they look threatening and give the impression that they would cause you physical harm should you surprise them and invade their personal space with an unexpected show of affection. In that scenario, the appropriate response is giving a polite nod, followed quickly by averting your eyes to your shoes. Then as soon, as you are out of sight range, run for dear life!